So since last night I have been going over some first topic ideas to celebrate the grand re-opening of Sloshed In Translation.  So many topics to cover, so many idiots to publicly defame, where’s a drunken ass hat like myself to begin?!  Then this morning, it happens… it’s like the world’s biggest non-factors just knew what I decided to get myself back in to… there’s blood in the water people, and the stupid can smell it.  For those of you on “The FaceBook” that read it, you’ll know that I had a tiff with the stupidity of an overweight bitch that couldn’t treat the English Language any worse than her Father treated her Mother in that back ally the night she was conceived.… ( Jesus that was dark even for me. )  Enter “The Effeminate White Knight!”

Miss John Crawley decided to take it upon himself to defend the previously mentioned porker with a English deficiency by privately messaging me displaying his own lack luster grasp of the language after publicly defending her in the thread that started all of this… which the irony that this dude… chick, whatever is from London did not escape me;

After sending his “retort” to my intentionally misinterpreting his… uh, “message”, if it could even been called that, he promptly blocked me.  Awe, Sheman took his ball and ran home… “home” of course being his parents basement.  So I suppose I will just respond here for your entertainment!

First off, who in the hell says “old boy” anymore?  Did one of you fuckers slip me some LSD and I’m now under the impression I’ve been transported to the days of Jack the fucking Ripper?  “Jolly good ole’ chap!”, fuck me running could you be any more of a stereotype right now?  Bet your teeth are worse than mine… and that’s a god damn challenge.   Speaking of being teleported through time… OH EM GEE!  Are you one of those “hackers” I saw on the news?  I bet you could “hack the Gibson” in 1 minute!  ( With my help, we can do it in 30 seconds!  HACK THE PLANEEETTT!  THEY’RE TRASHING OUR RIGHTS!  TRAAAASSSHHIIIINNNNGGGGG!!!! )  But I digress… allow me to lay some cold hard facts on the table here for you John;

  • You are not now, nor have ever been a “Hacker”.
  • “Hackers” do not use “Leet Speak”, “Hackers” find “Leet Speak” to be extraordinarily annoying.
  • If one were to considering you a man, you would be referred to by “Hackers” as “Lame”, or “Lamer”… considering you aren’t of the male gender in my eyes, or the eyes of the world at large, you are considered a “Scene Whore”.
  • The best parts of you ran down the inner thigh of the woman that current controls ownership of the clown car she refers to as a vagina.
  • The remaining parts of you should have been swallowed.
  • I used a metric fuck ton of quotations in this list.

Ignoring the that he used “if” at the end instead of “When I’m willing to admit”, I’d like to close out this article with something a bit new.  A lot of people have asked me in the past what I’m listening to while writing these things, so, ask, and you shall receive.

This post inspired by:  Angels on Acid – Haunt Me

If you’d like to give John a piece of your mind… or a tack hammer to the face, head on over to his FaceBook ole’ chap!

( P.S.  Welcome back everyone. )