Sloshed In Translation

So I realize that it has been much longer than a day, but works been a bit busy.  Yes, I know, the burning question: “If you’re so awesome, how come you have to work huh?”.  Well I have to, because I am awesome, and I am awesome, because I said so.  Done.

At any rate for those of you that missed my last post in the series “Flailing in the Dark”, or decided to go the less awesome; “I never passed grade school TL;DR” route, allow me to sum it up for you.  A game was developed for about 8 years, the developers of the game are compulsive liars, and its community has the combined intelligence of those of you that believed in the swine flu scare…. Oh, and Tasos Flaming ass is the ringer leader to Americas future welfare recipients.  Oh yeah, and the game is called DarkFail… err, DarkFall.. yes, DarkFall. Continue Reading…

Before I start this off, let me give you a little background into the situation, as not all of you follow the development cycle of abandon ware.  In August of 2001 ( 8 years ago ) a no-name company, which I can’t recall the name of, nor can I be bothered to look up as I have more important tasks in my day to attend to… such as not looking up the name of a no-name company that was destined to fail before it was a half-baked thought found at the bottom of a cheap glass of vodka… Continue Reading…

So I was sitting here today, you know, just being my normal awesome self, when I was alerted to someone that is not filled with awesome.  Though I have to admit, I am a bit confused.. how many Hiltons are there?  Let’s see here… there’s Paris Hilton ( Not awesome ), Armor Hilton ( Not Awesome ) and now… Perez Hilton?  This completely and utterly not awesome person is a self proclaimed celebrity (  Read:  Probably has 10,000 bot accounts as friends on MySpace. )  I am going to go on the assumption that these people are basically just coming up with “e-names” involving Hilton as to ride on the not awesome coat tail of the cocaine binging human skeleton Paris “I’d suck cock for a Klondike bar” Hilton. Continue Reading…

Have you ever poured a cup of coffee and forgot about it?  If so, you know that after about 7 days of not cleaning that cup, fungus starts to develop.  After a while, that fungus begins to completely over-take said cup to the point that not even the washer is good enough… you just have to throw the damn cup away.

…that’s pretty much you guys.

Stop looking for some greater meaning to the world around you, I didn’t plan you, and I don’t really have an interest in you.

…I just cant find a coat hanger big enough to get rid of you.

Honesty, why cant any of you Christians or Catholics drive?  Is there something in your genetics that makes you completely useless to society on whole and part?  If one were to make a check list obtaining the overwhelming qualities of anyone that thinks I am going to save them it would go something along the lines of this;

• Unaccetpable of belief systems based off logcal though.
• Overly critical about trivial humor in the media.
• Sociopathetic tendencies.
• ABSOLUTLY NO FUCKING DEPTH PROCEPTION.

Seriously, do you realize those lines in the road are to keep you in your lane?  Not to drive between?  Also, turn signals were NOT made by Satan as previously suggested, its ok to use them, I promise… I mean you’re all going to hell anyways… but come on is it really that hard to shift you have a half-inch to click your blinker on? ( In the direction you are turning please. )

I have decided to smite ( over time ) any and all humans that have that stupid jesus fish sticker on their car.

All of them.

Smity Smite SMITE!

Adding to the massive amount of people that are going to hell,  Perez Hilton.

For the following crimes:
- Being a hypocrite.
- Looking like a goomba from Mario Bothers. ©
- Acting like a douche canoe.

He will be sat alongside such faces as Adolf Hitler and Paul McCartney.

You know, that planet of yours down there is getting pretty packed, and sadly that lazy slut Mother Nature just can’t be bothered to thin the herd these days.  This is why I invited abortions.  I found that the simplest solution to the problem was to let you legally murder kids… sounded like a solid plan to me but nooo, my psychotic followers had to go over the line again. Continue Reading…